Exhibit: Dire Maul

Welcome to the first exhibit in the Digital Museum! Dire Maul is one of my favourite in-game spaces, almost on par with Karazhan. There's just so much to do, to see, and to collect in the instance's three varied wings. A big tourist attraction of Dire Maul is all the party items you find within the zone. I'm the type of person who has a portable hole and half a gigantique bag full of vanity items, which are either unusable or only see the light during slow moments sitting around in ICC raids. Dire Maul has a lot to contribute to a vanity collection, so be sure to visit the gift shop!

Directory

1. The Broken Commons
   
2. East Wing
   
3. North Wing
   
4. The Athenaeum
   
5. West Wing
   
6. Gift Shop
   
7. Looking Ahead

The Broken Commons

Dire Maul as a whole is all that remains of a once-grand city of elven origin, known at that time as Eldre'Thalas. The central courtyard area of the city was probably once very spectacular, but now lies in ruins with crumbled granite strewn around. The Broken Commons is outside the instance proper, but contains one of the zone's biggest attractions: The Maul! The Maul is one of Azeroth's PvA arenas, where it's truly every man for himself. The only escape from the high-walled pit is a small door, and an eager goblin observer named Griniblix watches like a hawk from his vantage point atop the wall. On rare occasions, an infamous gladiator will spawn inside The Maul; Griniblix quickly spots the creature and shouts out the news, as well as when someone engages it in combat. You can hear his notifications from inside the instance, too, so the arena adds another dimension to the Dire Maul experience. There are a few different gladiators that might appear in the arena: the elemental Mushgog who fills the arena floor with herb nodes; the tameable chimaera The Razza; and the ogre Skarr the Unbreakable. All of these rare gladiators have a chance of dropping the coveted Orb of Deception.

East

On the outskirts of the Broken Commons is Eldreth Row, a series of wide open-air hallways now filled with rubble and ogres. To a newcomer, the only accessible door leading deeper into the city is at the eastern end of Eldreth Row (keys are required for all the other doors). The whole Eastern wing of Dire Maul is in a state of rampant overgrowth, filled with malevolent plant life.

Your first steps into the instance bring you to the Warpwood Quarter on a mezzanine that is teeming with life: treants, lashers, and ancients shamble about, herbs sprout from crevices, and seed pods burst open at the slightest disturbance. Enormous tree roots have worked their way through the walls, eroding the magnificent stone architecture and obscuring the walkways. The mezzanine overlooks a courtyard garden, hidden from view by a veil of treetops.

Among the wandering flora is a playful little imp named Pusillin. He starts out fun-loving and friendly, and although you quickly realize he possesses the much-needed Crescent Key—essential for accessing the rest of the ruined city—all he wants to do is play tag! The happy-go-lucky fellow speaks in rhyme and leads you incrementally further into the instance. If you eventually corner the imp, he turns nasty and fights back (one could argue that you bring it upon yourself by hurling insults at the little demon, but you have little choice in the matter). Once you've defeated him, you can retrieve your Crescent Key as well as a cooking recipe for tubers. The imp's key opens a secret exit onto the Lariss Pavilion, where the Shen'dralar exile Azj'Tordin laments the loss of his favourite book.

The ancient city has indoor areas as well as the open-air courtyards. Narrow, winding hallways often lead into dank, high-roofed chambers. In this Eastern wing, the indoor areas are now entirely occupied by malevolent satyrs, demons, and angry plants. Deep within the main Eastern building is a sunken area like a Roman bath, patrolled by the elemental Hydrospawn. One satyr in particular—Zevrim Thornhoof—engages in occult practices at an altar in an upper level of a chamber, where he maintains a curse over important friendly beings.

Back in the Warpwood Quarter, sunlight filters through a thick treetop canopy into the Conservatory, the garden area below the mezzanine you entered upon. The Conservatory is dark but lush, and populated by wandering plants and squirrels. A sunbeam cuts through the canopy and falls squarely upon Old Ironbark, the friendly ancient cursed by the satyr Thornhoof. Although the curse immobilizes Old Ironbark and prevents him from doing more than uttering a faint plea, Thornhoof's demise frees the ancient to destroy the heavy door barring your escape from the overgrown garden.

The door leads to the open-air Shrine of Eldretharr, now penetrated by the area's warped plant life. All the evil beings of the whole Eastern wing are drawn to the area by the work of Alzzin the Windshaper, a satyr holed up in the Temple where he has slowly corrupted the Fruit of Fertility into an evil Felvine (Rabine Saturna in Moonglade has a wealth of botanical knowledge on the subject). With Alzzin's death, his power over the Felvine and the Temple as a whole evaporates; the vine withers and drops its fel fruit, and a wall crumbles to expose an escape tunnel through the tree roots and earth. The shards that fall from the withered Felvine are the sort of dangerous thing that you might unwittingly carry around without realizing that you ought to be handling them much more carefully. Rabine would be aghast if he knew you put one in your pocket without first sealing it safely within a Reliquary of Purity—but what he doesn't know won't hurt him.

North

The Northern wing of Dire Maul is the domain of the Gordok Ogres and their canine companions; in this way, it's an extension of the Broken Commons atmosphere. The stone architecture in this wing is becoming overgrown, just as the Eastern wing was, and is slowly crumbling. The ogres mill around their bonfires, chatting, dancing, and telling jokes.

Stomper Kreeg swings between a drunken dance and a drunken slumber; when provoked, he'll fly into a drunken rage. Winning a fistfight with him will reward you with a variety of alcoholic delights—you might even be able to brew up a batch of Captain Rumsey's Lager if the ogre hasn't drunk every last drop of stout and mead. Leaving him in peace, though, also has its rewards; Kreeg will offer friendlies either a taste test, or a chance to buy some exclusive spirits. To draw out Kreeg's good side, you'll need to usurp the kingdom of Gordok as your own by overthrowing the King.

Inside a chest standing in the middle of a courtyard's raised centre, you'll find the key to the North wing's indoor section. Be warned, the chest belongs to Guard Fengus and he might be displeased to stumble upon you. Despite being confined to ball and chain amongst beefy ogres, Knot Thimblejack looks very well pleased. All the same, he spends his time plotting his escape, and exhorts anyone who will listen to either find a key (the key, rather) or get a nearby broken trap in working order so as to eliminate the patrolling Guard Mol'dar. Thimblejack is also handy with a needle and thread, and can whip up a very convincing ogre costume when provided with the right materials—a pattern that he freely shares with anyone who is also adept at needlework, tailors and leatherworkers alike. As much as he loves to sew likenesses of his captors, his main goal is escape; if you should find it in your heart to obtain a key to his shackles and release him, he gratefully bequeaths you his box of crafting materials and patterns.

Upstairs, the chambers give way to the open-air apex of the Northern wing: King Gordok's throne room. Here the King stands, surrounded by his closest advisers. His reign is tenuous, though, and his crafty advisers are willing to accept new applications for kingship. In fact, you just have to ask and they'll crown you the new King. With kingship comes the reward of having your subjects pay tribute.

The Athenaeum

Between the Northern and Western quarters of the ancient city is the Athenaeum, where the remnants of the Shen'dralar maintain an extensive library sealed off from the rest of the city by heavily-locked doors. It could well be the Alexandrian Library of Azeroth, containing copies of all the world's knowledge. Unfortunately for the chief librarian Lorekeeper Lydros, several volumes are missing from the shelves and are scattered about the entire city, languishing in ogres' pockets and lying forgotten upon the crumbling streets. The library rewards anyone who returns these overdue books, though for some volumes they charge a small fine (a few brilliant shards and an expensive diamond, among other things).

The Athenaeum contains other wondrous items that offer a glimpse into the long-forgotten past. A large orrery stands in the room, and the reconstructed skeleton of a large flying creature—presumably some prehistoric dragon—hangs from the ceiling. Lying upon the floor near a bookshelf are the skeletal remains of Kariel Winthalus, who reportedly fled to the Athenaeum with several ancient artifacts in tow. Lorekeeper Lydros seems relatively unfazed by the corpse lying at his feet, though he argues that he's in no position to question the actions of Prince Tortheldrin, Winthalus' murderer. The Prince himself stands within the Athenaeum; he was once a loyal subject of Queen Azhara, but the decay of the city around him—which he once ruled—must have taken its toll. His recent actions call his better judgement into question; aside from slaying Winthalus, the Prince has imprisoned the demon Immol'thar to act as a battery powering the city's magical appetite via siphoned demonic power—though the arcane shackles that keep the demon contained have become tenuous as the cost of imprisonment begins to outweigh the power derived. A locked door leads from the Athenaeum into the Western quarter of the ruined city.

West

If the lush Conservatory, protruding tree roots, and clambering ivy are the Spring of Dire Maul, then the Western wing of the instance is the Autumn. The Capital Gardens were once, perhaps, a beautiful city park, but the ages have settled upon them. Here, the treants and ancients are dry and browning; stark trees stand leafless, only a shadow of their former manicured selves. The cool marble colonnades are lined with statuary depicting stags, bears, and huntresses, lending an autumnal feel of the hunt. The hallways have the crisp feel of the onset of cool weather driving away the green and vitality of summer; only a minimum of subdued brown vines cling to the walls.

The Western wing is permeated by the arcane powers of Prince Tortheldrin; here stand the pylons that maintain the Prince's power over the resident demon, Immol'thar. Just West of the Capital Gardens stands the Court of the Highborne. This area is haunted by numerous long-dead (and undead) memories: deceased Highborne now roam the chambers as wraiths, banshees, and ghosts; in the open-air areas are animated skeletons accompanied by faerie dragons; the undead huntress Illyanna Ravenoak and her ghastly pet Ferra patrol the upper mezzanine; benevolent Shen'dralar wisps flit along the corridors while the ghost of a Shen'dralar Ancient awaits helpful travelers; and in the central courtyard stands the ancient Tendris Warpwood, jailor of the Ancient Equine Spirit beloved of paladins.

Tendris Warpwood also defends the door leading into the Prison of Immol'thar. There, the last remaining arcane pylons power an immense force field containing the demon. With the destruction of all the pylons, Immol'thar breaks loose of his waning bonds and attacks the few nearby Shen'dralar jailors. Being the one responsible for setting the demon loose, it is your duty to destroy him. Doing so, however, infuriates the Shen'dralar Prince. Should you venture back to the Athenaeum, you will find him hostile.

Gift Shop

• Warpwood Pods: These grow in the Eastern and Northern city quarters, though they are much more abundant in the East. Opening them can have a variety of results. Best case scenario, you'll get a Thornling Seed and maybe some tuber snacks (see below). On the other hand, it might spawn several herb-laden lashers, or unleash a noxious cloud of choking spores.
  
  
  • Thornling Seed. It may just be because I'm a druid, but I love Azeroth's animated plants. These seeds can be stored in packets of 5 inside your bags. A thornling starts to grow as soon as you plant the seed, and at full maturity radiates a tiny AoE.
    
  • Runn Tum Tuber: These can be eaten raw, but the playful imp Pusillin drops a recipe so that you can cook up the delicious roots.
    
• Dusty Tomes: You might find Nat Pagle's Extreme Anglin', or one of the many volumes missing from the Athenaeum's collection. They're sometimes scattered about the ruined city streets.
  
  
• Orb of Deception. This drops from gladiators like The Razza who appear in the arena. It's a trinket that turns you into a member of the opposite faction (my NE becomes a Forsaken) for 5 minutes. This is just the type of souvenir people always ask you to bring back for them.
  


• Felvine Shard: As I mentioned earlier, it's allegedly dangerous to carry these around, and the shards themselves have no use; but they drop off the withered vine whether you like it or not, and you're free to take one as a keepsake.

• Gordok Ogre Suit. Sadly, the costume is unique so you can only carry one at a time, and it's a long way to go to pick up a new one. The imprisoned goblin Knot Thimblejack can whip up a costume for you in a jiffy if you give him the materials. He also freely shares his pattern with tailors and leatherworkers, so if you have a stock of tannin you can easily make more wherever you are. The costume is so convincing that it will fool many of the local ogre inhabitants into thinking you're friendly.
  
  
• Ogre Tannin: Stored in a basket on a balcony above Thimblejack, this tannin is the secret ingredient in crafting Ogre Suits. The little goblin also occasionally has some in his own materials stash.
  

• Knot Thimblejack's Cache: In exchange for his freedom, Knot will leave you his belongings. The cache can contain extra tannin, leathers and dragonscales, cloth, and patterns.
  
  
• Gordok Crown: This is a sense of achievement rather than a keepsake. Defeating King Gordok leaves the ogres leaderless, and they are happy to anoint you as their new King. Mizzle the Crafty performs the induction ceremony.
  
  
• Gordok Tribute Chest: although the contents will probably be of little interest, Mizzle the Crafty is happy to pull out this treasure chest at your command.
  
  
• Specialty Liquors: once your crown is safely in hand, don't forget to stop by Stomper Kreeg for a few choice refreshments.
  

Looking Ahead

Dire Maul as we know it today has already 'survived' one cataclysm: the Great Sundering at the end of the War of the Ancients, 10,000 years ago, though it is certainly not the magnificent city it once was. There's no telling what effect another cataclysmic event might have on the city, or what new inhabitants it might find in its courtyards.

Darkmoon Card Games

My toons have a sort of partnership. One manufactures raw gems out of lesser materials. Another cuts those into useful adornments and picks flowers. The first turns those flowers into delicious cocktails while a third turns them into ink and sells well-formed calligraphy. A fourth extracts elemental material from clouds and metals from the earth. A fifth collects all kinds of animal hides and patches up the holes in everyone's knees with tailor-made armor enhancements. The partnership primarily functions to support the dominant member, though the relationship is generally mutually beneficial to all members. At any rate, each member is invaluable since they can do their job better than any other member, and are all essential links in The Partnership's chain. When they cooperate, there's nothing they can't accomplish.

At the moment, they're all trying to support #1 although she's going slightly insane. This leaves #3 living in BRD picking pockets most of the time and mailing lockboxes to #1 using #4's portable mailbox. #2 is stripping most zones of their flora in an attempt to provide #3 with ink with which to forge cards, which #1 needs in order to fulfill her obligations to the Darkmoon Mafia. #3 desperately tries to recoup her monetary losses by pawning all her belongings on the Auction House, while #5—who has the least responsibilities of all—skins dogs so that #1 can make ogre costumes (she's in Steamwheedle's bad books after a little incident involving a pirate hat) and otherwise tries to help raise revenue to fund the whole enterprise. This sort of thing happens every time #1 gets caught up in a whim, but this particular fixation has many facets.

To make the whole daunting task a little more manageable, the partnership is currently focusing on collecting cards. Perhaps fittingly, #3 (a rogue) is the expert in both forging cards and fixing decks. #1 could barely play Old Maid when all this started, but now she's a regular at the card dealer's booth at Darkmoon Faire. The dealer hands out a number of prizes, in varying degrees of usefulness. But playing your cards is only half the game; the real challenge lies in building a winning hand. The object of all the Darkmoon card games is to get a modified Straight Flush—the modification being in the number of cards required. This is obviously easier using some decks, such as the Rogues Deck which only contains three cards. The Nobles game is a bit tougher, since your hand must contain eight cards, but the rewards are proportionally greater. Unfortunately, the dealer is unimpressed by 6-of-a-kind; #3 is more skilled at creating particular cards (she makes a mean Two of Rogues) and has vast reserves in her card collection that might end up getting pulped or pawned. #1 has become so skilled at playing Darkmoon Cards, that she has a growing collection of prizes. Soon, the enterprise will be complete.

A Pocket Full of Mounts

Talk about biopower. My druid is up to 101 vanity pets and 107 mounts. She keeps them in a secret compartment in her pocketbook, like a tiny Noah's Ark, whence she can easily and quickly summon one to do her bidding. Most of them never see the light of day, and are just there for posterity. The flying mounts are even functionally obsolete, since she can instantly transform herself into an agile bird as fast as any phoenix. Some (Lil Argent Squire and poor oft-abandoned Gnimo come to mind) are frequently sent to do the more tedious gruntwork.

Predatory cats are any Night Elf's birthright, and my druid has a fine collection of them. She eventually coaxed her friends in Winterspring to train a Frostsaber for her. She still regularly attempts to kidnap one of the gloriously orange tigers from Zul'Gurub, but the High Priest consistently clings to the Zulian feline right to the grave.

Her campaigns in Outland have resulted in a series of Netherwing drakes, talbuks, nether rays, and a hippogryph. A small caravan of mammoths are cramped into her pocket. All of them were purchased from reputable breeders like Mei Francis—assuming, of course, that those vendors aren't supplied by thieves lurking in Archavon's lair.

My druid spent many moons aiding the Humans, and in return they have bestowed a largish herd of equine steeds upon her. The horses are apparently imported from Northrend, where Squire Percy enlists volunteers to pick off stragglers from the local wild mustang herds. The once-free beasts who delighted in unbridled galloping now spend their days untended, unneeded, and forgotten as their powerful galloping-muscles deteriorate.

A handful of my druid's mounts are more novel than the rest, marking her complete control over vanquished enemies. She has bent both Anzu and Midnight to her will. Baron Rivendare's lean and hungry warhorse now serves its previous master's (serial)slayer, as do Mr Sunstrider's strider and Skadi's frosty drake. Her valor in ToGC earned her the prestigious Alliance award of excellence, and Ulduar's humbled denizens bequeathed an airborne memento to her.

In her effort to dominate the world of animal mounts, my druid was obliged to enter the domain of dominating humanoids. The Black War mounts—largely obtained under the older, token-based PvP reward system—are testament to her power over the lives and deaths of enemy players.

The only recalcitrant mounts are those summoned by the Qiraji Resonating Crystals. My toon doesn't have much power over them at all, and that power is useless everywhere in the world except for the remote yet beautiful Temple of Ahn'Qiraj—and one rarely has occasion to go there. In fact, I'm not entirely sure that there's one bug in particular that responds to the summons; she just bangs on a coloured crystal and hopes some silithid will surface.

A few specimens bridge the gap between the animal and mechanical. Cyborgs like the Gnomish mechanostriders were my druid's first non-living vehicles. Later, her snazzy chopper didn't even bother to make a pretense of mimicking living animals.